I think the nicest people in the world are people totally unexpected.
My headache is ok now, it was after all, just a headache.
Thanks for caring. I was very very very touched. Sweet people. :)
Im feeling very, strange right now. I am hyper and sad at the same time. Because of something that happened that should not have happened. Dammit, I think I did something wrong. Mujhe woh karna nahin tha. I feel low and high rite now. Is that even possible?
I feel so mean and wicked nowadays. I should try to bond and get along with people more. Keep my emotions in check. I put up a bloody facade. I reveal myself to no one. People think they know me, but they dont. No one does.
In short,
I.am.a.loser. A major one.
You know, i think Im going to delete this blog and delete my msn and go back to being what I was before. A recluse. I shall keep to myself and study everyday. I need to improve my grades anyway. Stupid maths. What is a blog anyway, an opening where randomn people come to mock at my emotions. Maybe a private blog is better. Or perhaps no blog.
Its hard being mayo. Sometimes the pressures too much.
Sigh, its hard to even talk nowadays. Let alone with you. This is wierd, I never had a problem talking to someone before and now, for the first time I do. And the strangest thing is, that its you. You of all people. Why do I care so much of what you think? I have to think twice before saying something to you. and thats whats worrying me. I never really care what others think of me. I say what comes to my mind. But for you, its different, like main goongi ho jaati hoon. Or I blabber, on and on. You intimidate me, without meaning to. I think its an inferiority complex. Stupid. And I cant be normal with you, so why try. But I know I cannot stop, for that will make me and you even more unhappy. But seriously, I feel so loserfic and stupid next to you. And sorry that my first impression of you was a bad one. It has changed though, drastically. I dont even know what I feel for you anymore. Pity? Sad? or just plain friendly. This is wierd. very wierd. I shall try to be normal with you, even though its going to take ages for me. Somehow, I feel Im trying too hard. Maybe I should stop and be myself and see how it goes. Then again, maybe I wont. I think Im going to sleep on it. I cant see any other way out.
On the happier side, I am now grade 6 for guitar. Woots, I rejoice.
Yay and todays sl was absolutely fantastic. It was fun painting on those rocks. The stones cry out. How ironic. Spraypainting was tiring though, we worked like 3hrs and only managed to do half a wall. But we will work fast on wednesday! Sl's from 9-9 on wednesday. Sigh a full 12 hrs. But at least no more staying back after school. :)
This post was actually typed out two days ago. I kept delaying it though. Hence the rather drastic change between emotions. I think Im going to be very busy nowadays. Perhaps I will stop blogging so frequently and get back to my studies. Sadly, schools going to start soon. I weep.
I want to watch many many many movies. Anyone wants to watch with me?
Im a _fill in with appropriate muddling/confusing adjective_ kid.
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