Well today I broke a lot of rules. Not just school rules or library rules or whatever rules. I also broke my own rules. My own bloody rules. These days I have no idea but I am becoming more rebellious. I do wierd stuff, I swear, a lot, I lie, I cheat people and I feel so mean inside. Even though I might look the same to the outer world, inside I feel so damn stupid. really. Like last year, I was different, I was innocent. I was gullible, in short, I was still a kid. Somehow, something happened this year, something that made me come out of that shell, and changed me. And not just me but the life of others, friends and family. And the worst part is that I seriously do not know why I feel a certain way. Like I feel so stupid when I unknowingly say something and everyone takes it seriously. And I also feel stupid when I meant something and they dont. But for the most part, I feel so annoyed at my own inability to express my feelings or to just know why or how it happened. I feel so irritated by these moodswings and wierd feelings. I want to just lead my life normally as normally as possible when your a teen and just live. I hope people will understand and get the point that hey, I might be mayonaisse but that dosent mean everyone tells me their problems and expects me to make things all right. Give me some breathing space wont you? I know you have problems and stuff but Im not the garbage dump where you dump all your itsy-bitsy worries and expect me to make things all right. Please. I hope you guys understand that I have bigger things to worry about. Thanks, really
Today when we met, didnt go well. You shouted and screamed at me once again. I hope you do understand that what your doing is wrong and that you shouldnt act like that about it. Also, you should understand your responsibilities. Think about the others, how would they feel? She was really hurt because of the way you acted today. Just stop acting like that and putting up a farce. Siriusly, I am doing this for your sake after all. Dont get mad at me. Please.
Gah the frustrations overwhelm me.
Labels: Im very confused., still confused. wait scratch that
